Women have the power

Don't raise criminals

I hear news of crime all the time. There are murderers, rapists, thieves, and robbers. All these people, which are mostly male, are their mothers’ children. They were born to a woman whom they have disrespected and hated so much that they have raped, robbed and killed. That is some messed up stuff.

I feel that most mothers forget the power they hold on their children. You have the child from birth to adulthood. That is a long time. You have the power to mould your child, your son, into a functioning human being. I know that there are outside influences when parents are bringing up their children. But if you do the work and give your children seventy-five percent, the twenty-five percent will not cause as much harm. There are many sins being committed by black men against black women.

Here are some issues we deal with:

Gangs and criminality

There are communities in black neighbourhoods where people are being robbed day and night. The unsafe neighbourhoods full of gangs, rapists, thieves and murderers. People live afraid in these neighbourhoods. These criminals are usually black men. Yes, I know the controversy that this statement will bring. But I am sick and tired of all of us pretending that our sons, our brothers, are not growing up to become little terrorists in our neighbourhoods. It’s high time we all looked in the mirror and see what is looking back at us.

Philanderers

There is a high rate of cheating in black communities. In certain black cultures, it’s expected. These men cheat and get away with it most of the time. To say they get away with it is a lie. They don’t get away with it. They cause a lot of hurt for their children who grow up to be broken adults. Because when most men start cheating, they forget about their children. They start shouting at the wife and, in some circumstances, beating her. They disrespect their wife so much that their sons will come to believe that being a man means being mean to women. They think it’s a power move when it’s actually a dick move.

Incompetent, weak men

There are a lot of incompetent, weak, black men in our cultures. These men are not physically weak, but are mentally weak. Men are supposed to protect and provide for their women. That is not usually the case in black people's cultures. If you want proof, look at the way Africa is full of evil dictators that are stealing not just Africa’s vast minerals and fortunes, but they are stealing the future of nations. Why are most black men okay with this? Being okay with being treated like a second-class citizen in your own country. Isn’t it time we have strong men in our cultures?

The solutions

Raise sons, not your fathers

This will ruffle some feathers. Black women need a reminder to raise their boys as their children, their sons, not their father or grandfather’s reincarnate. I grew up in a place where my brothers did not help with chores in the house. They were called Mr So and So before they reached the age of ten. My brothers were called by our totem and given preferences in every sense of the word. The girl child does everything in the house, including washing her brother’s clothes. What are you saying as a mother with this attitude? What are you teaching your children? You are teaching your daughters that they must work and your sons should sit and have women take care of them. You are saying sons are ‘important’ because they carry their father’s name. No offense, but your daughters also carry their father’s name. Teach your sons, the men of the future, that they are to take care of their women. That they are the providers and protectors of the women. They are your children, not some reincarnate. They are to learn to love and respect women from you.

Don’t stay when he is cheating on you

Most black men cheat. Especially when they get a better job or their life moves to a better path than they were on. Then they marry again, rarely an upgrade, but they will marry again. Forgetting the woman who was there when things were bad. They go looking for a trophy for all the work done, forgetting who was standing next to them in the trenches. If he is cheating on you and you stay, remember that you are saying it’s okay to treat women this way to your sons. You are telling him that women can take it. The irony is most people stay for their children, underestimating the damage they are causing their children.

Instil strength, pride and determination in your children

Black people's cultures need strong black men who can help us fight the injustices that we suffer in almost every situation. We suffer injustice at the hands of our black leaders, the criminals in our neighbourhoods and the world at large. Where can we run off to? We have neither protection nor anyone providing for us. We suffer a great deal. Please teach your sons to be strong, to stand up to injustice and to be proud of who they are and hopefully that pride leads them to fighting not only for their rights, but for their women’s rights too.

Women have the power to stop the madness. You have that future criminal in your house from birth to adulthood. It is up to you what you want that child to become. Please remember that your motherhood does not affect only you, it affects communities and society at large.